I have spoken at length about my beautiful cat Autumn… We also have a smaller critter in our house who receives a LOT of love from my little man. We have a sweet little hamster named John. John lives in Turners room in a very large Tupperware box. The kids thought his hamster cage was too small so they upgraded his house a few months ago. Well, the Tupperware container doesn’t have a lid. The rule in the house is Turner’s bedroom door must remain closed at all times. For obvious reasons…

Last Sunday my kids had a swim meet at Union College in Schenectady. Warm ups were at 7:00 am so we had to be in the car at 5:15 am sharp! The night before, Turner had come down stairs around 2:00 am and got in bed with me. I was up at 4:00 am getting ready for the meet. While in the bathroom I heard a strange noise that I could not immediately identify. To be honest, I didn’t think much of it…until I went to get turners clothes out of his room and discovered that he had left the door open when he got in my bed. Not only was the door open… Autumn was in the room and John was no longer in his cage. I grabbed Autumn and got her out of the room as fast as I could. I didn’t see any signs of a dead hamster. No blood… no body parts. I wasn’t angry at Autumn… she was simply doing what cats do. Hunt! It was now 4:45 and I had to get the kids moving. I looked all around the room… but no sign of John. I closed the bedroom door and wedged a blanket under it to keep John in the room…assuming he was still alive.

Several hours later when we got home from the meet the kids went to their father’s house. (They are with him Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I get them back Wednesday after school) I searched high and low for John. I pulled apart his room like nobody’s business!

There was no sign of John.

The next morning… no sign of John. Monday night… nothing.

There was no way I was going to tell turner that his sweet little John was EATEN by Autumn and that it was his fault! That is too much guilt for a little boy to carry, and Parker’s hamster, Max, had died just a few weeks earlier. We had a funeral with a casket, tomb stone and prayers for Max. We could not go through that again so soon AND we had no body to bury!

I was desperate…. I headed out to PetSmart.    Let the lies begin!

PetSmart did not have the hamster breed I needed but they were expecting some in on Wednesday… but no able to sell them until that Friday. Now, not only did I need a replacement John, I needed a story as to where they hell he went until Friday. The next day at work I brainstormed with a few coworkers. We devised a plan. The story would be that my friend Pat needed to “borrow” John for a pet care badge that her girl scout troop was working on. I would bring my hamster cage to work, leave it in my office, and on Friday replace John… put him in the cage and bring him home. My kids would be non the wiser!

Have you ever heard the expression… “If you want to know who is really in charge of your life… tell God your plans”.

well…. That God of ours… He has some sense of humor!!! He must have been up there in heaven laughing and Laughing with Peter!

I got home from work on Wednesday and told my kids my big elaborate lie. They believed me. Why wouldn’t they?? Its perfectly reasonable to think that John was on a field trip……. That is until I walked into the bathroom to find John sitting on the floor… Alive!

I scooped up this poor little creature and hid him in my shirt. Remember…. he isn’t supposed to be here! He is with the girl scouts, and his house is in my office!!! Now what??? Pat was done with him and dropped him off….IN MY HAND?!?!!

My snowball of lies was rapidly gaining speed as it rolled down the hill! I could hear the little voice in my head scream…”.THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TELL LIES!!!!!”

I snuck past the kids and made it outside to Egidio. He helped me put together another Tupperware box for John. I carried him in with a “Hey guys, John is back” and…… “He was accidentally put in the wrong box… yeah, (LIES!!! ALL LIES!!! keep lying you horrible mother!)….. another girl scout brought in her hamster and I guess they mixed up the boxes… now worries, I already told Pat that this wasn’t John’s house and she is going to bring in the other house to work tomorrow”.(LIAR!!!)

The kids happily carried John back to Turner’s room. About a minute went by before I heard the “Mom, something is wrong with John. He doesn’t look good. His eyes are closed.” (of course his eyes are closed and he looks bad! He went 3 freaking days with no water!!) Calmly, I walked in to see John… I told the kids he looked “tired”. (another lie)

Parker was so concerned that she googled hamster illnesses and diagnosed John with “wet tail” …whatever that is.. She thought we needed to bring John to the vet. I was able to convince her that John was tired from his little adventure and just needed some rest.(Your mother is a liar Parker!! She lied right to your sweet little face!)

I checked in on John during the night… he was drinking some water and he actually fell over on his side.. not good! I started to think that at this point, if John dies we will just have to do the whole hamster funeral thing again. Death is a part of life … right?

I think God took some pity on me (and john) that night. By morning John was bright eyed and bushy tailed. But I have noticed that  Autumn now hangs out in front of Turners door………..just waiting for the next slip up.