sheep… We decided to get sheep instead of goats because goats are somewhat destructive. Sheep are… Well, sheepish. They are sweet and docile.. They frolick in the fields.. Bleating happily to passers by… After all, didn’t Mary have a little lamb? Didn’t it make the children laugh and play?? 

We got our sheep with the intention of using them for “sheepscaping”. That is when you have sheep maintain property that isn’t really mowable. Behind our farmhouse we have a several acre area that his hilly and rocky… And full of weeds. The previous farmer used this area for the cattle to roam. They did a very good job at maintaining the area. But we don’t have cows and we are not getting any. I have nothing against cows, but they are very large and very smelly. Sheep, we decided, would be better. They are smaller than cows for sure, and the smell… well, let’s put it this way, the sheep make the chickens smell like fresh flowers. But fortunately for them they really are so stinkin’ cute! I found a sheep farmer in Dutchess County. She is wonderfully patient with me and my hundreds of text questions. We got three, four legged “friends” Ross, Chandler and Joey. They are Southdown sheep.

We quickly discovered that Ross, the oldest and only male in the herd, was clearly the boss man. Wherever Ross went, they other two were on quick pursuit behind him. And that sweet bleating sound they make… That’s a sign of distress. Sheep only bleat when they are scared or suddenly separated from the group. Things we learned after one rather difficult weekend where I found myself thinking that I was going to have to call my new sheep farmer friend and ask her to take the sheep back. I felt completely overwhelmed, and in over my head. I don’t know if it was luck or fate, but Egidio discovered that if you had Ross on a leash… You had complete control over the group. This was a wonderful discovery for us since we had to find a way to get our herd from the sheep shack, across the driveway, and into the field every morning before work…. While dressed in work clothes… While trying to not smell like sheep all day.

After that discovery life was good. Every morning I would happily walk up the driveway to my adorable sheep shack and gather my sweet little herd. All I had to do was lure Ross over with some grass and grab his harness. Once I had that, I was golden.

Now I would like to give you a little advice. Don’t, I repeat, DO NOT  under estimate an animals intelligence and/or desire to out smart you!

One  beautiful spring morning at 6:45 am as I reached for Ross he jumped backwards and slipped out of his harness. The sudden frantic movement by Ross and myself scared Chandler and Joey who darted past me out into the driveway. Ross, determined to not lose his girls knocked me right down on the ground as he exploded out of the barn. The three of them took off on a dead run up through the farm. They were distracted by a patch of clover momentarily, just long enough for me to get Parker outside to help… And long enough for me to make a frantic phone call to Egidio..who was 30 minutes away. I hung up the phone after what I can only describe as high pitched insane word vomit. I grabbed Parker and went after my herd. It became quickly apparent that when you chase wild animals… They run! And if you were wondering.. Sheep run like deer. You can’t chase deer through the woods and expect to catch them! The sheep were gone! And I mean GONE!! They were completely out of sight. That was it., that was the moment I threw in the towel and decided that we were not meant to be sheep farmers. Parker and I walked back down to the house in silence. I told her to get ready for school. I explained that we had done all we could and they will either find their way home or make the local coyotes very happy tonight. She was actually very accepting of their fate.

In one last ditch effort before we got in the car, Parker asked me to leave a trail of grain down the driveway into the field. Not a bad idea.. Couldn’t hurt. So I grabbed a bucket of grain and got in my white Volkswagen and headed up the driveway toward the rail trail. This part of the driveway is in terrible condition and I never drive my car that far up.  But this day was different. I drove up the driveway gingerly, wincing in anticipation of bottoming out my car. Just as I reached the plateau, I see three sheep come tearing around the corner running straight toward my car. Running like something is chasing them! I throw my car in reverse and start heading backwards down the driveway, fast!  Now I didnt know which way to look, every time I turned my head back toward the sheep they looked like they are gaining on me. The bottom of my car was scrapping and bouncing off the huge rocks and all I could think was ” My God, what is wrong with these animals? Do they think my car is a giant sheep??” Why are they chasing me and how do I get them in the field? I can’t drive my car backwards up there!! I reached the field and jumped out of my car. I started to shake the bucket of grain hoping to lure them to me. Not a chance!! They ran full speed right past me directly into the barn where this whole mess started. When they got inside they turned around and faced the door as if they were thinking ” let’s start this day over.” As I closed the barn door I scolded them, “stay in your room and think about what you’ve done!”