Stay calm… Those are the magic words when you are a beekeeper. We have had bees now for a year and a half. I know it doesn’t sound that long, but we are now up to 9 hives and we have more on the way. I love my bees. They are fascinating creatures. Their entire existence is about supporting, protecting and nurturing the colony…  it’s all about the family. If humans took lessons from the bees, the world would be a better place.

The bees are really my thing. We started out taking the bee classes together. We had “Bee Dates”. But once we advanced to where we were actually in the hives, Egidio made it very clear that he would build all the bee boxes that I needed, as long as I didn’t expect him to climb into the hives with me. That was fine, a Bee division of labor. So… the bees are my thing. I set up the hives, feed the bees, inspect the hives, extract the honey, all the good bee stuff.

Honey bees are very gentle creatures. Most of our hives are made up of Italian bees. Italian bees are happy bees. They want to eat and drink… invite you over for some dessert. They really have no interest in stinging you, well… unless you are Egidio. I don’t know what it is. But it’s like they smell him. They seek him out and go after him. Maybe it’s an Italian thing, like rival mafia families. As if that isn’t enough, we have one hive that is very different from the others. They are NOT Italian honey bees. Everything about this hive is different. They have built a very strong, very large, very aggressive hive. I think they are Russian Bees… Soviet Union, Communist Block, Olympic Athlete Bees.. They are all business, and they don’t want you to interrupt them. And by “you” I mean Egidio.

Recently I had to go into the hives to treat for mites, a regular hive maintenance thing. Normally this is a rather non eventful experience.  A bee box that is full of bees, wax, and honey can weigh about 90 pounds. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal,  but keep in mind that sometimes the boxes are well above my head… kind of stuck together.. and full of stinging insects. You have to be calm and quiet when you move the bee boxes around. And unfortunately, on this day, I needed help, and by that I mean I needed Egidio to come into the bee yard and help me lift and move some bee boxes.

When I am in with the bees I wear a light weight veil, and no gloves. I have never thought it was necessary to wear a “NASA approved space suit” to go into the hives. Egidio has never been comfortable with the bee jacket I got him. It didn’t come with gloves and it is about two sizes too small. He calls it his bee bra. So on this day, Egidio suited up and reluctantly followed me into the bee yard.  About three minutes into moving the boxes I hear a squeaky voice behind me say “What are they doinggggg…” I turned around and I see about 500 bees are on Egidio. His entire veil was covered. He was in a cloud of very loud, very angry bees, you know you can tell when you hear the high pitched buzzing. I started to repeat the phrase “stay calm, and walk backwards”…. “stay calm and walk backwards” “STAY CALM and…”    And clearly those words mean NOTHING to Egidio.  It was like watching a cartoon. A bee had made its way under his jacket and had stung him directly below his eye. With that, Egidio went into a tasmanian devil spin while stripping his clothes off and screaming like a little girl… on 209. I don’t think I have ever seen him move so quickly! When all was said and done he suffered 9 bee stings and completely destroyed his bee bra.

I waited for him to calm down before breaking it to him that he needed to come BACK into the bee yard to help put that box back. We duct taped his jacket back together (he ripped the veil so we patched it from both sides with duct tape), with the use of only one eye, he helped me lift the hive back into position. THAT… is true love!

The next morning, Egidio ordered himself a “NASA approved space suit”.